Speaking for Me

 This week's theme?  Don't speak for me.  Keep my name out of your mouth.

Ok.  If you are sticking up for me and I know your heart is in the right place?  Thank you for looking out for me.  

The situations I encountered this week were not altruistic efforts.  It was another case of performance art.  

First it was the vaper who asked me if anyone helps me with my area.  Honestly I wanted to say how much pot are you smoking during the day?  You know that answer.  Thanks for putting the spotlight on me.  She offered her help and she still has a task she took from me unfinished.  I'm not helping her.  She offered in front of others.  Deal with it.  The era of grace and making excuses with the vaper is done.

It gets worse.  Our new person, the one who took over for the stomper threw out some ideas to make things more even for everyone and the diva chimed in. She said I'm just worried about me.  WTAF?  My angry face should have been obvious to everyone.  Worried about how much I'll have.  I thought keep my name out of your f-ing mouth, you bitch.  That wasn't concern.  That was trying to make me look bad and look pathetic in front of others.  Not the first time and won't be the last time.

I get sick of taking her shit when I've done nothing but been nice and helpful since day 1.  What do I get in return?  Snotty attitude and putting me down when she gets a chance.  She knew my vulnerabilities and she threw it out there to look like the caring friend.  No.  We're not friends.  Friends don't keep humiliating their friends. 

Do I think the new person that stepped in for the stomper will see people's true colors?  I don't know.  I'm sick of people throwing me under the bus to make themselves look good.  Throw me under the bus?  I'll throw you at a bus.

I'll stay quiet for now.  I would appreciate it if the diva in particular will stay quiet.  

It hurt me too to see her offering to let people call her and I got shooed away.  I don't want to talk to her.  I don't ever want to talk to her again.  She can go find someone else to hurt.

I don't do anything to people.  I don't know why they feel the need to put me down or make me look bad.  

This is the type of stuff that makes me want to give up on people.  Guess I'm still upset!

I get tired of being hurt by people.  

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Way Past My Bedtime

 I crashed before Reverend Raphael Warnock's speech.  The power of DVR saved me. I watched it this morning right up to the point where I had to sign in.  It was fantastic.   Hillary was great.  My mom was crying.  It meant a lot to her to have Hillary win that election and she was crushed. I was crushed.  She always fan girls over Hillary.  It was hard for me to decide in 2008 do I go with Barack or Hillary?  She gave a phenomenal speech. I had to watch Joe this morning.  No, I didn't cry like I usually did.  I got a little teary eyed when his daughter finished her speech and introduced him.  That nice man made sure his little boys had a dad that came home every night after they lost their mom and baby sister.  He took his oath of office by their bedsides.  He got a second chance with Jill and having a daughter.  He's such a good human.  Yeah, he looks 81.  He lit that stage on fire with a torch....
Read more

So Here's the Weekend

 I was having a wishful thinking moment last night when I was writing my postcards.  I was wishing for my imaginary friend that has shades of Stephen Colbert mixed in to show up and go for a walk on this humid July night.  We would talk and maybe check out the food trucks that were at the Farmer's Market last night.  Maybe they would be ok.  Maybe they wouldn't.  We would be getting out of the house and just talking about how our week went for both of us. Maybe we would stop at Pick n' Save and get my mom something she asked for.  He would always know how to talk to my mom and he would be someone she's really comfortable around like Charlie.  We would maybe see Charlie mowing the lawn on his usual Friday night task and talk to him. He might have plans with his kids in the morning so we say our good night with a hug or maybe even something else.  No, I'm not going salacious here.  Get your mind out of the gutter.  Maybe we'd see each...
Read more

The Greed of Others

 It has exhausted me this year.  Inflation and greed.  It is killing me about the effect it's having on my mom.  She is so worried about a possible rent raise and us getting humiliated again. I'll see everything to get away from this landlord.  I really can't stand how selfish he's become. He had a conversation with me that he was raising the rent when it happened. I was shocked so all I could say was Ok and he would mail something.  Then he shows up when we have company.  He mowed the lawn but he had to add on when we had company.  He couldn't just put a stamp on the letter and let it go.  He had to talk about how hard he's had it.  My mom has said he ruined our Christmas last year.  I think it's because we thought they were nice kids when they moved in.  We thought oh, they seemed nice and we did worry when they bought the place.  We never dreamed that they would be so coldhearted with us and greedy. We know how landlord...
Read more