Nervous System on fire

I felt like my whole central nervous system was on fire from anxiety the other day. I wasn't sure what to think after our first day in our new situation. I wasn't sure if I was being blamed for something and I wasn't.  It's everyone's fault. I wasn't longing for the past after Monday, I was longing for peace. I think after yesterday, I should be ok.

The diva on the other hand is a whole other story.  I knew this would happen. She needed help and normally I'd let Regina or someone else help because why?  She doesn't want my help.  Since they weren't and I didn't want to leave the impression my jerk, I tried to help as well as our new world person.  I even offered to call the diva and I knew what the response would be.  Ignore me.  I threw out a couple of people's names she could contact.  I guess she would up calling the stomper who helped over what I thought was something simple.  In our daily check in, she was waving her hands and being emotional because someone was rude to her.

I get it.  Not her being emotional. I have seen how she reacts or responds to people.  She's not nice and after awhile, I kind of understand why someone gets frustrated and maybe not respond in a not so nice manner.  She had the option of talking to me first and we could have figured it out that it was something simple but for some reason, my empathy irritates her.  I've had people be curt to me and I wish that I would have that empathetic person.

I had to ask her a question later and she sent me 27 pages of information.  It was for someone else and since that is her area, I thought maybe this will make her feel better.  When I responded ok, this is what we and the other person will do.  She tried to correct me.  She fails to remember that was my old area.  On the first page that she sent me, it said I could do exactly what I said.  This is the diva.  Go figure.

Today I have to clean the fridge in between my breaks.  I feel like I was responsible for the incident last night with my mom's chili sauce spilling.  I'm a messy person myself with flipping things around or throwing stuff in there.  She said it wasn't but I got a feeling it was me.  I'll go through some of the stuff in there and throw out the expired stuff to free up space.  It's my punishment to myself.  I know me and I know I can be better about some things

I'm no diva.  I'm a work in progress. I try. 

I hope the good humans have a good day. 

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