Don't Expect a Thing

I got a little upset yesterday.  It hit a nerve.

The Thinker had told me that I could ask her a question on something I was working on and I did.  I just fired off a question and went about my day.  I got a response, Hey, you know I start at this time and it went on that she was trying to get her day started.

When I send a message with a question, I never expect an immediate response.  I move onto the next problem because I know people are busy.  I realize that we all have bad moments and that she thought that I was expecting an immediate response and I explained I wasn't. I was working on something else.  I know there are others who are impatient like the diva or Regina.  I'm not one of them and many times people will do the same when I sign in.  It might be something from over night and I respond when I can.  

It made me tearful.  It wasn't her.  It just felt insulting like I have nothing better to do than wait for people to grace me with their presence.  I stopped expecting anything from anyone a long time ago.  I hate when people treat me like they're doing me a favor by giving me their time of the day and that I'm just pathetic.  I'm not pathetic.  Those people have been rude for doing that.

Frick used to send me messages after I would send one to her, Oh my god, I just saw your message and I just didn't want you to think I was ignoring you.  I figured she does and still would so no shocker.  It was the insulting Oh, I'm so sorry that you've been waiting all this time for me!  Sigh.  No.  I would rather you be out of my life.  

I had it with the boyfriends I had.  I wouldn't hear from Harold for 2 or 3 weeks, sometimes months and then I would get love bombed with poetry who stole from someone else.  My college ex blew up at me if I would ask when would the next time I would see him when things were dying down between us.  

I've learned to realize that I can't count on anyone.  I do my own thing.  After all, I'm the woman that got left stranded at the San Diego airport years ago.  I'm used to not expecting anything from people so please spare me with the You're going to give me a thrill by actually spending a moment with me to answer my question.

It was really wild that I got in that day to see my doctor about that damn spot on my nose.  I expected a week or two and it was ok.  I get it with doctors.  I wanted to say to him, do you know how many people can't be bothered with me?  I really appreciate what you did.  He's a nice human.  I don't know too many people like him.

I hope the good humans have a good day.  I'll always make time for them.  

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