Empty Words

 On Monday, I was angry.  I felt like a dumping ground and I really couldn't pretend that I was a happy person when I got my response.  I actually cut off my call early because I was pissed off.

It's not anything I'm familiar with. I hit the end button when I heard I really appreciate you.  Oh F all the way off.  No you appreciate me being a door mat. Just stop it.  Quit talking.  Yeah.  I'm talking about the stomper.  I think the light switch came on for me that I had enough and ignored enough.

I still have to deal with it for a few more weeks and I don't know if I can fake it.  I think when someone is part of your daily life and it's imperative that you don't show how you feel, you ignore a lot.  I really can't ignore a lot and right now I want to unload a lot of my feelings off right now.  I wouldn't at the stomper.  Honestly.  So tired of the stupidity.

I've said it before and I'll say it again.  So sick of the flowery words that mean absolutely nothing to me whatsoever.  It's always the Oh, you're awesome!  Thanks for doing my work while you get behind on your own work.  You're the best!  

Translation.  Thanks for being a sucker.  A loser.  I won't do anything for you in the future but you're awesome for being a dumping ground for me.

I have been called out for being too introverted or too quiet.  Not engaged.

You know, I would be engaged if I got treated better.  I can make nice with anyone but when someone repeatedly dumps on you, do you really want to hang out with them?  Do you really want to dish the dirt with them?  Not me. I don't want to be social with people like that. I don't think they're nice people and they take advantage and you want me to go bowling with them?  No.  Not happening.  Life is too short to waste on people who don't treat you fairly every day.  They don't get that when people get dumped on, they want peace when their day ends.  They don't want to be social with people that don't treat them fairly.  Get over yourselves.  It won't make things better.  Talk about not listening.

I had found out that Frick and her friends called HR on me and said I was getting favored.  I really was upset and hurt.  Then I got talked to about being quiet and I was told you know you were all friends at one time. 

I was being chastised for being quiet.  I was the one that was kind of being bullied so it's like you're telling me to go be friends with the bullies?  I did and yeah, it kept happening again and again and at one point I said to my manager, I have been loyal to Frick. I'm going to guess I haven't gotten the same loyalty back.  She agreed.  I still made nice because I can play the game.

I lost it on the mentor in an email about playing the game because it really didn't help whatsoever.  I agree with him somewhat but honestly, can we blame people for getting frustrated when they get dumped on?  

I need a breather.  I know things won't be perfect with the changes coming up, but I really hope there's less stomping.  At least the time with this stomper will be coming to an end soon. Hopefully.

I'm tired of empty words.  

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