Mid Week Daze

I didn't realize I had a text from my sister.  From Monday.  I'm in some brain fog this week.  I apologized and said well, feel like I'm in a fog.  She had pictures of Charlotte at the place they went to this weekend.  I could have paid closer attention and it might have lifted my bad mood on Monday.

I'm ok today.  I am hoping I don't get reminded of what set me off in the bad mood later today when I have my monthly check in.  Oh, yay, the lurker returns.  I don't mean to be dismissive of her needing time off for as much as she had, but I wonder how honest are they being?  After working with Frick and knowing her tricks, I'm skeptical of someone like the lurker.  Maybe her and the diva can plot to find more of my mistakes.  

I drove by a food truck this past Sunday with my mom to see what it was about.  Whatever it was, it must have been a big crowd because they were packing up.  My mom joked maybe I could stand in line next time and I told her no. She asked if I was embarrassed to do it and I said yes.

I think we're doing ok.  I hate that she goes to these places and I even offered to give her extra on my paydays.  No.  She likes doing it.  If she's ok with it, so be it.  She did get some fancy coffee that she had me send Corinne.  Corinne loved it, so that's good.

I felt like such a loser when I worked in the office.  They made me feel that way. I didn't have a husband. I didn't have kids. I drove a 17 year old car. I rented.  I didn't have a dog. I have a cat. And yeah.  I had a bad health problem that made people want to steer away from me.  Not all.  It was just hard to listen to the lunches of people talking about their trips going to Mexico and well, going to Cudahy seemed expensive with gas prices and all.  Sigh.  For me, I think it's luxury that my last medical bill went down to $126 versus $180.  I can put the extra towards contact lenses.  

So yeah, going for my walks by Lake Michigan seem like a luxury.  I still get pangs of feeling loser-y when I hear people talk about their vacations in meetings, but it's not as bad.  So yeah.  Maybe that's where I draw the line at going to a food pantry. I think we have enough to be honest.  My mom grew up poor and I think food insecurity drives her to these places. She doesn't want to be dependent on me.  I get it. I feel the same way about being dependent on her.

Be kind to those who don't have luxury cars or go on fancy vacations. Some of us are just struggling every day.  Some of us are perfectly fine with the things we have in life so please shut up about your material stuff.  Some of you sound stupid.  Looking at my former office co-workers.  

I hope the good humans have a good day.  

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