Time Moving Too Fast

It's definitely nicer having Charlie and Jeremy living downstairs with all the snow we've gotten.  I feel bad for Charlie because I could hear him going out about 4 or 5 times yesterday either to shovel or salt.  I also think it's been a bitch to go anywhere or do anything with the bad weather we've had and it seems like time has been moving too fast the last couple of weeks.

I have to get Charlotte's Christmas stuff out in the mail this weekend and it will be bitter cold. I don't even know if I have a mailing envelope for her stuff so I have to look this morning.  I will have to put Corinne's off until next weekend and hopefully hers gets there on time since she doesn't live as far as little miss.  Normally I take a random day off in December to take care of that stuff.  Well I didn't.  My bad.

My mom thought I was mad at her because she had me take her to the food pantry not that far from us and pick her up.  No and I explained it.  I wasn't feeling well yesterday and I think my anxiety moved to my stomach.  I wasn't sure what I could eat yesterday.  It seems like my work is piling up and I have time off at the end of the month which is great, but I think it's going to be a ten car pile up in the new year.  I also hated that she is going to two of them.  She said she doesn't feel like she contributes.  That is so wrong and I told her that.   I was just quiet yesterday and I know she took it the wrong way. 

I hate that there's a concern that she won't get her snap money next month.  Why is that?  Well we know the story and it's an exhausting story.  When I think about it, I go back to people who voted for this and think this is perfectly ok.  It makes me sad.  Keep putting the foot on my neck or our necks.

I had a memory come up for me on Facebook that kind of threw me this week.  It was just a picture of the hospital and me leaving it at night.  I wasn't in the picture but it was six years ago when I started the new treatment plan.  Social media is a bitch.

I had a weird dream this week.  I had a dream I got asked by Jerry the drycleaner and his wife to babysit their new puppy.  Well that makes sense.  Sure.  I'll babysit my crush's new puppy while him and his wife skip off to Door County or some other romantic place.  Geezus.  I looked at his business website and saw the happy family.  I think that depressed me more too.  Although I do look forward to baby sitting their new puppy.  I'm joking.

It's been a week.  

Stay warm.  Keep the faith.

I hope the good humans have a good day. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Way Past My Bedtime

 I crashed before Reverend Raphael Warnock's speech.  The power of DVR saved me. I watched it this morning right up to the point where I had to sign in.  It was fantastic.   Hillary was great.  My mom was crying.  It meant a lot to her to have Hillary win that election and she was crushed. I was crushed.  She always fan girls over Hillary.  It was hard for me to decide in 2008 do I go with Barack or Hillary?  She gave a phenomenal speech. I had to watch Joe this morning.  No, I didn't cry like I usually did.  I got a little teary eyed when his daughter finished her speech and introduced him.  That nice man made sure his little boys had a dad that came home every night after they lost their mom and baby sister.  He took his oath of office by their bedsides.  He got a second chance with Jill and having a daughter.  He's such a good human.  Yeah, he looks 81.  He lit that stage on fire with a torch....
Read more

The Dark Things

I sometimes wonder about this when I'm in a brooding mood about how I got treated at a low time in my life.  Or lowest. Would people have been relieved if I just died?   Really.  I have thought the answer was yes.  I'm not talking about my family. I am talking about those who made their discomfort known to me.   They could have had some fake ceremony and a moment of silence.  There wouldn't have been a funeral so they could have forgotten about that part.  They would have excelled at pretending to care about my life if I wasn't here. Then, I had to go do something stupid and survive.  How do we deal with that?  My mentor even mentioned to me, well, you know, none of us have dealt with someone being sick.  Oh, should I get a fucking manual for that?  Excuse the F bomb but that was warranted. When I got my schedule for radiation therapy, I had wanted to talk to my manager about it and find out if it was ok.  I had gotte...
Read more

So Here's the Weekend

 I was having a wishful thinking moment last night when I was writing my postcards.  I was wishing for my imaginary friend that has shades of Stephen Colbert mixed in to show up and go for a walk on this humid July night.  We would talk and maybe check out the food trucks that were at the Farmer's Market last night.  Maybe they would be ok.  Maybe they wouldn't.  We would be getting out of the house and just talking about how our week went for both of us. Maybe we would stop at Pick n' Save and get my mom something she asked for.  He would always know how to talk to my mom and he would be someone she's really comfortable around like Charlie.  We would maybe see Charlie mowing the lawn on his usual Friday night task and talk to him. He might have plans with his kids in the morning so we say our good night with a hug or maybe even something else.  No, I'm not going salacious here.  Get your mind out of the gutter.  Maybe we'd see each...
Read more