I don't do arts and crafts or pottery

My sister and niece are crafty people.  I am not.  My sister made this beautiful unicorn for my niece.  I said if she doesn't want it, I'll take it!  I'm getting one in blue now.  I'm only 57 going on 5.  

Anyway, I have a box of leaves and I'm hoping that they don't wind up crunched when I send them off to my niece and Charlotte.  I know there's some type of thing that can be done to preserve them.  I just don't know what but my niece will know.  She's crafty and has made displays of my dad's old piano tools which I think is really sweet.

I tried the arts and crafts. I was never good at it.  I'm bad at a stick drawing.  I never really had an interest in going to the craft fairs either.  I love what my sister and niece would do but leave me at home when it comes to the fairs.  I'm good.  

One of our engagement activities was going to the yearly craft fair in Madison. Everyone was excited for it except one person.  Me.  I was happy the first year I had a scheduled day off.  The next year I had gotten hit at a red light the day before and I just wasn't up for traveling to a stupid craft fair and called in.  Not today Satan.  The next year I didn't have a choice.  I was going.

I was bored.  I wound up with a cat toy that Betsy bought for Precious. Sure.  That makes up for the year you tried to get me fired you crazy bitch.  It was ok.  We had a nice lunch.  The traveling there and back was enough for me.  Lucky for me, one of the attorneys I worked for thought that I loved crafts.  Really?  I kept getting Hobby Lobby gift cards for administrative assistants day or Christmas.  I wish I would have thought of it and gave them to my sister and niece.  I used the cards to get cat figurines that the attorney got that were kind of cool.  I do have one creepy cat figurine I'd like to get rid of.  I actually used it to buy ornaments for a Christmas gift exchange one year.  What do you know?  It was the most popular picked ornament and more excitement when I said it was from Hobby Lobby.  I think I sold one of the cards on eBay.  

Disclaimer - to anyone buying a gift card for an assistant?  Make sure that it's a place they go to otherwise they're going to make a profit off the dumb idea that your assistant goes out to expensive restaurants.  I'm looking at you Lois.

Arts and crafts was another thing that I didn't have in common with my co-workers at the time. During my cancer treatment, one of the women thought we should go make our own pottery as an engagement activity.  Believe it or not, there was one thing that was a positive about cancer treatment.  Sipping wine and making a plate does not sound like my idea of a good time.  Frick tried to get out it by saying that I was being left behind because I had treatment going on when they planned the activity.  NO I WASN'T BEING LEFT BEHIND!  I was happy as F not to be part of that nonsense.  Look ma, I made a tile today and now I'm 300 emails behind!  Geezus.  Frick didn't get out of it.  I got told I could leave early as well when they all went onto their girls event.  Not really much to do at a cancer center but I did need to stop and fill up my gas tank.  According to Frick, the whole pottery thing sounded like one big mess.  If I was there, I would have made a mess.

Shortly before Covid hit, we had a day to appreciate the attorneys.  That was another day I was glad that I missed because it sounded stupid.  Irma was leading the committee to get that set up and she wanted to get a gift for all of them.  It was a tumbler filled with skittles and sweet tarts and on the tumblers it would have the attorneys initials.  She wanted $7 from each of us so her girlfriend could use cricut on them.

What the F is cricut?  I asked the question minus the F word.  I still don't get it after it got explained. I got extorted for $7 so one of her dippy friends could use a stencil and put it on a cup.  Ok.

You know what happened to a lot of those tumblers?  They say there on attorney's desks unopened.  I saw that a year later as I'm packing up my stuff because it looked like it would be awhile before we went back.  Thank god that never happened.  I thought all that fuss over that design.  I wasn't mad at any attorney who didn't open it up.  I would have wanted a snickers bar in a tumbler too.  It didn't look very well made for $7. 

My mom thought that my sister should go start a business making this stuff.  I think it's just a great stress reliever for her.  I knew from a former manager of mine that she tried to sell her crochet stuff on Etsy and it was just difficult to maintain a store.  I know there's craft fairs but it's just  a lot.  It's not enjoyable when you going to make 25 unicorns or do some type of production number to keep a business afloat.  I think she did try to work with something like that years ago and it was frustrating.

I knew a classmate who started her own business by doing something dippy with charms.  She didn't fund it - her husband funded the whole damn thing.  Dazzling Designs by Darcy.  He's a lawyer and up until she started the business, she was spending her days harassing our old classmates on Facebook and complaining about the View.  Then bragging about her next trip.  She's at all the craft fairs selling her junk.  

I applaud anyone that can make a living out of it except for Darcy.  She was mean in school, mean as an adult and her charms are stupid.

The only way I'd do any pottery is if there was liquor involved, laughing at how horrible the stuff we made turned out and just having a good laugh at having a silly night.

I don't take my arts and crafts too seriously.   I never want to get another Hobby Lobby card damn it.