Another Day in December

It's been a fast few weeks.  I feel exhausted emotionally.  I don't feel depressed about the holiday.  I just feel tired from the long year we've all had.  

I am getting a pneumonia shot on Saturday morning. I got a call from the Walgreens where I got my covid and flu shot.  I wasn't sure if it was covered by insurance but I found out it was.  Never know what changes with our new insanity administration.  I'm just gob smacked about the affordable care act subsidies and people not being able to choose insurance.  I can't believe the cruelty that people have been experiencing.

I got a card to make my next eye doctor appointment and I did.  I should have had one this month but eh, March will be fine. I should have some money in to get new contact lenses.  I was surprised to see my doctor's name on the choice for doctors.  Interesting.  Her and her husband run the place but I saw a new doctor's name.  I thought maybe she wanted a break.  I looked her up and found out she's somewhere in Waukesha.  I thought oh, that's interesting.  It hit me.  Maybe they're not together.  I thought of the conversations I had with her or she had with me.  She talked a lot and a lot.  She seemed irritated that a lot of the men patients went to her husband because she would say something that would piss them off.   She did seemed annoyed with me for having an appointment with him.  It was for an eye irritation and my eye was redder than a fire engine.  She wasn't available that day and he fit me in.  Kind of wondering if I shouldn't feel guilty about not going to her again.  I also hate Waukesha.  Note to self  I'll play dumb about my previous doctor when I go in for my exam.  What?  That's your ex-wife?  No! I doubt if that will happen, but I won't ask how she's doing.  Might add an extra $50 on my contact lenses.  

I cried in our meeting last Friday and that shit was not embarrassing.  I kind of broke and it's not fun to do it in front of others.  I actually had everyone except Regina reach out to me.  It was kind of a misunderstanding and a lot of the problems that was shown on a report is that I don't get help.  That's not what I was reading when I saw it on screen.  It appeared as though I was failing.  I feel like that every day so seeing what's on screen and doing your own interpretation can break you.  Even the lurker had sympathy about the situation.  Do I trust this individual?  NO.  I appreciate the fact that they saw that I'm human and I'm not the enemy or someone's competition.  I break when you push me too far.  I'm human.

Sigh.

I hope it's a good day.

I hope the good humans have a good day. 

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