Foiled by Bicycles

My walk did not happen today. I forgot that a bike race was going on.  Just didn't seem to be my morning.  Traffic was backed up when I headed to the east side and I couldn't get off the exit I wanted to so it took me a little longer to get to my normal walking spot.  Well it appears it just wasn't happening for me today and tomorrow it'll be a little too hot.  See you in a few days Lake Michigan.  Until mid-week.  

I don't think I'll be able to lose about 40 pounds before Wednesday, will I?  Yeah .  No.  That's not happening.  Sigh.  I dread this one.  Lovely people and lovely view which makes me feel like I'm just not good enough for the space.   Weight gain really does a number on you emotionally.  I want to go to an appointment for once and have them take a second look at my chart and say Oh, I wasn't sure if it was the same person.  Magical thinking.  Not a good idea to lose weight too fast.  I would really like that though, damn it.  It'll be ok.  I'll just hang my head in shame, people will be nice and hopefully I don't burst into tears and find out I need another test.  It's such a mid screw with any appointment.  

I did get my postcard stamps.  West Milwaukee never seems to have them and the ornery asses in my neighborhood huff and puff when I ask for them 9 times out of 10.  I think I found the closest to where I walk and they generally have what I need and sometime new stamps that I may need for my letters.  Well that doesn't make sound like a dork now does it?  Geez.  

I went into Metro Market near there just to lower the property values in the area and thought I'd go see if they have my beloved snack and they did.  I was hoping I could see my old nemesis MJ from the shoe selling days and see if she runs.  I haven't seen her the last couple of times I've been in there.  Who cares if she works at a grocery store?  Did we all think we were going to be J. Lo's personal shoe assistant once we left Boston Store?  Get over it, MJ. 

We did our usual run to Walmart in the afternoon and we saw the guys coming back with what looked like ice coffees, maybe.  We complimented them on the yard again and I said I don't know anything about flowers, but I like what they did out front.  It was nice to see them enjoying the neighborhood.  There is a place within walking distance where they can get coffee and play volleyball.  It's my idea of hell but they might like the coffee part.  In my case, a cool refresher drink would work.

I stopped at our newest grocery store in the neighborhood, Monterey Market.  It seems like not too many people have figured out it's there.  This might be my new summer hang in the evenings.  Actually it's just to get in on the air conditioning part.  I got a watermelon today and tasted plantain chips.  I'm not sure how I feel about that lemon lime feature. I noticed they opened up a juice bar.  Not sure about the cost, but I like that there's something here in the neighborhood where I can walk and look around.  I think people might think it's an all ethnic food store which is sort of true but you can find some of the same stuff you do at Wal-Mart or Pick n' Save and sometimes for a better price.  I spent the last three nights going for a walk to the store and turn around. Last night, I tried some of their bakery and well, I guess I didn't like it too much. I couldn't finish and I really shouldn't have had it.  I just wanted to be supportive.  The price on the watermelon worked.

I caught up on some of my loony housewives shows.  I probably shouldn't watch Miami because one of the women went through breast cancer but I want to know how she's doing.  She's had six surgeries.  Geezus.  She seems to be fine, but I felt bad for her and her husband who seemed to be more stressed about her having another reconstructive surgery.  See that's worried me.  Surgery was hard enough, going through one that is more brutal seems scarier. I know I got my mom but I don't think she should have to go through that and I don't want anyone flying up here to go through any of this again.  It was a nightmare for me and I have horrible guilt that I became a burden.  

It won't be a leisure walk for me tomorrow.  I'll go to a few stores and do my Shopkick and hibernate in the air conditioning.  I am curious to see what Charlie did in the backyard. I could see he was out there with his gardening gloves and a broom.  So weird to have this reality after 5 1/2 years of drug addicts and bullies, landlord included.  It was so nice to see Charlie and Jeremy walking together with their ice coffees looking happy.  I loved seeing them.

Good things happening are just surreal to me.  I'm ok with it.