Can't Play the Game

My right shoulder blade is killing me right now.  It's like I got a knot and it just hurts as I type this out.  I don't know what I did.  Slept the wrong way?  I am hoping it'll be better by morning.

So Michelle Obama is being called out for not going to the inauguration.  Good for her.  Why fake it?  It's ok.  It's ok if you just can't fake it for the sake of ceremony.  I'm not going to say she's not stomping her feet and ready to cause an insurrection.  Sometimes we need to separate ourselves from people that are just well . . . despicable.  They were doxed thanks to FOTUS, this individual caused a lot of problems for her family.  Good for Barack and making it nice.  Good for Michelle for protecting her feelings.  Was she shown the same grace?  No.  She got a jab from Melania Trump.  Melania didn't meet with her when Trump won.  Melania did not meet with Jill Biden when her orange faced husband won again.  Sit down Melania.  You don't care and neither do we.

I hated it when the mentor told me to play the game.  Well I can be civil and work with people that aren't nice to me but am I going to go out to a restaurant with them?  HELL NO.  After I had my sit down with Betsy there was an invite for everyone to go out with some managers at a restaurant after work.  I was humiliated and called names in that meeting. I was called thin skinned when I was pretty much beat down for most of the year by my manager because of Betsy and then I'm told I'm too introverted?  No.  I don't like you people.  You don't like me.  We can co-exist but if you think I want to hang out on a Thursday night and spend money at a place I don't like?  NO.  Not happening.  This manager had known me longer than Betsy.  I spoke up in a moment when my manager needed an ally and then I'm being talked to like I'm an intruder and a villain?  No.  We're not going to Chik Fil A.  I don't eat homophobic chicken.  You're not nice to me and I think you're an awful human.  Wow.  I really went there, didn't I?  That's what it was like.  I understand Michelle Obama.  I am her.  

The news will probably be on less after next week.  I have cut down significantly.  I'll stick to news alerts and podcasts.  I got to admit.  Some of it is amusing.  Mel Gibson, Sylvester Stallone and Jon Voight will be ambassadors to Hollywood?  Fake news!  Wow.  I'm not watching Daddy's Home 3.  I don't even know why I tried watching Daddy's Home 2.  

I want to be back to my daily routine and my quiet.  I am feeling like such a screw up with my own work and I just feel stressed.  I don't know if I'm the best person to be doing this.  The lurker is MIA again for another week.  I hope they get another job soon if that's what they're doing.  

I don't feel like people show me grace.  I'm human and make mistakes, but when I make them, I'm just the worst person.

I have to make my own appointments.  I'm not looking forward to them.  I hate doing the calling part.  It's ok.  They're actually the easier ones I can deal with.  One medical professional makes me feel so shy because they're just a kind and understanding person.  Ever been around a person that when you look them that you see just pure good?  Maybe I'm wrong, but there's something so kind about this person when I talk to them.  It's only 15 minutes of my time and it's really easy and respectful.  When I get told that they're there for me, I want to cry.  I think it's just something that person says to every one ,but I wonder do they mean it for me?  It makes me feel more pathetic that my life has been filled with such unkind people that I'm so overwhelmed by someone who's just a good human.

They're a rare find.  Good humans.