Evaluating Myself

It was a tiring day.  Productive but it seemed like there were some blocks I couldn't get past.  Like filling out my evaluation. I got it started and it looks ok. I have until the end of Tuesday but when I sign in on Friday, I am working on it.  I don't care if there's 500 emails from being off tomorrow, I am getting that done.

It doesn't take long.  It usually takes me about an hour to an hour and a half but finding the time to think and put your words down to present yourself in the best light isn't the easiest thing when there are deadlines.  Yeah, the one who makes my eye twitch was giving me twitchy eye a bit.  I was worried about not getting a zoom link for one of their events but I got it.  I am also dealing with time zone issues of one state not doing them but scheduling the same person for an out of state file.  It's like dealing with a story problem when I have to figure it out.  I thought I had it right but nope.  Not today.  I don't think it was a big deal for the person who corrected me.  I just felt frustrated because that's one of the things I have to remember.  Screw you daylight savings. 

My mom keeps wanting to order stuff for me off of Kohls and I guess one of her orders came when we didn't realize it.  It was on the porch and she interrupted me in my effort to work on my exercise goals.  I probably wasn't the happiest person walking outside in the cold with my flashlight on my phone to help me see and get a package before the porch pirates find my sweats that are made of gold apparently.  She thought I was mad at her.  No.  I am just tired from life.  

I should have gone to see my eye doctor last spring.  I didn't and I cancelled my appointment in August.  I am on the last of my contact lenses.  I am anxious to get my new contacts because the ones I have are older ones that aren't the greatest. I even start my day by not putting them in right away. I can see just fine because it's up close. I may put them in around 9 or 10 just because I want them to last.  That's how bad its been in that department.  It's my fault. I acknowledge that.  I should have done it six months ago or longer.  

I asked my mom if she could touch my hair up with the stuff I got from Target.  To be honest, I really want to go for an appointment and get my hair colored.  I'm ok with the school.  It's not even about the grey hair.  I'm ok with it. I just want to go sit down in a chair, relax and let someone else do the work.  I'll get my appointment in the new year.  I'm ok with that but right now, it feels sucky.  I feel broke.

I'm not even upset about the crazy stuff that Trump is doing or his idiot cabinet picks are doing. The true believer is taking a nap.  We may make a comeback with the Supreme Court race in Wisconsin.  Right now, we're just sitting and observing and not letting it affect me.  

I can't believe people are idolizing that guy who killed the United Healthcare guy.  I get people being mad but good grief.  The kid came from money.  I can see if it was someone who lost a loved one to cancer. I know he had health problems with his back and it caused other problems.  I'm just confused by people's reactions like blasting the McDonald's in Altoona.  

On a really plus side, I looked at one of my credit card balances after crediting counseling made the payment and I felt good seeing the balance.  I saw progress.  It wasn't the greatest progress but it was something.  That card managed to get maxed out and I just never seemed to get the balance down.  That was the one I used when my "friend" who did nails managed the Aveda store and he was so thrilled about all the money I spent.  On my credit card. I have zero interest in any card.  I never should have had any and it caused me trouble like that.  My generosity towards others who didn't care about me hurt me financially.  I don't blame them. I should have known better.

I guess this is why I get wary about people when I give stuff.  I don't have a bad salary but it's a salary that comes with a lot of headaches and griefs and shame on the people who took advantage of my kindness.  

I'll be really glad to get my eye exam tomorrow.  That will be my moment of joy.  Seeing!