The Radical Left Lunatic

My mom has spent the day calling me a radical left lunatic after reading what someone orange put out on their teenage internet account.  She's had a fun day calling me that or referring to us as left lunatics and then asking how can she be when she's right handed?  Yeah.  I wonder the same myself.  

I went for a walk to the grocery store to get my Sparkling Ice fix.  I got my mocktail drinks, but it's the caffeine cans that I've cut back on significantly. I thought it's a holiday.  I'm allowed.  Actually I ran out and I'm ok with it until I get paid next week. I got plenty.  I drink my water, but I got to have a sweet drink to chase the blues away as well.

I did watch Joy Reid's show from yesterday.  My day wasn't spent with the news but there was a video clip that caught my attention.  It's hard to explain.  It's the last few minutes but it's one of the reasons I have kept my thoughts to myself or hide them when it comes to politics.  I get made to feel like I'm victimizing others when I've had to listen to comments about anyone who votes for so and so is a horrible person.

I watched this docudrama on Peacock about some writer on Grey's Anatomy who concocted all these lies about her health and her family that was just crazy.  Her poor wife.  She met her wife in rehab.  She was suffering from PTSD and her ex winds up killing himself and this liar writer manipulates her and her kids into believing she's someone she's not and will be there for all of them.  It was just wild but so fascinating.  Unfortunately, I've known people like that.  Maybe not to that extreme, but you think what is up with the stories?  

I got to listen to a little bit of Rebel Wilson's book on my walk this morning.  I was a little bothered by how thrilled she was that people were paying attention to her once she got to a healthier weight.  You know, that shouldn't be the case.  We don't know someone's story when it comes to weight loss and to act like people think you're some lazy slob is so bad.  I realize that the cancer pills I took made it harder for me to lose, but I worked so hard for the longest time.  I would work out before work and do some stupid cardio thing, kind of light to warm up for the mean girls.  I would go walk around the parking lot on my 15 minute break. I would walk on my 45 minute lunch. I would go do a lap for my 10 minute break and at night, depending on the time of year, I would walk after work, for maybe an hour. I would walk maybe at least a half hour, minimum.  The scale wouldn't really budge.  Does that sound like someone who's lazy?  I wasn't bad with snacking.  Popcorn was my bad vice. I had a sweet tooth ,but I didn't snort a bag of Hershey's Kisses everyday.  Only on Tuesdays.  

Of course I want to be a lower weight because I don't want to have any other health problems.  I don't think life will magically make me more appealing where people want to help me out.  That's just awful to think that.  It's hurtful too.  I feel like I have to apologize to my doctors too when I come in, that's how bad I feel, like sorry you got to see a fat person like me and nobody is mean to me about that.  Every time I see my doctor for a yearly check in, I say, sorry I'm fat.  He's kind and encouraging.  That's where this has taken me.  Nobody needs to shame me. I can do that all by myself, thank you very much.

I get my hair cut tomorrow and I'm going to Menards.  Damn, that sounds exciting.  My mom wants to go there.  Hopefully that won't be busy with it being the day after Thanksgiving.  I am hoping that downtown Milwaukee will be quite decorated for the holidays.

I watched a holiday movie with Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds that was good.  See, I'm breaking myself of this news thing to keep my mood sorta sane.

I hope the good humans had a good day.  Shame on anyone who doesn't check in on you.  It doesn't take much to say Hope you're doing well.