The Old Maid

My grandmother told me at a young age that I would wind up to be an old maid.  She was wonderful, wasn't she?  Very judgmental and rude when it came to me.  She'd be thrilled that I lived up to her vision of me.  

I had other people say just as insulting things to me.  It must feel liberating that you made that decision not to marry.  Wait? I was 32 when that was said to me.  Or you're going to be one of those late in life moms.  Joke's on you idiot.  I'm not a mom.  Hurtful and cruel comments.

It hit a nerve when JD Vance spouted off comments about childless cat ladies or if you don't have kids, you shouldn't be able to vote.  Maybe we accept that some people don't marry and have kids but there's still bias when it comes to women who aren't married and have kids.  It's hurtful.  You people don't know my story.  

I had asked a previous manager during Covid how the attorneys were doing as far as mood and she said, Well you know how people tell you having kids is wonderful?  It's not.  I said I don't hear that.  She then went onto lecture me about how hard it's been for her and some of the others managing kids.  I asked about mood. I didn't ask to be talked down to thank you very much.

It got pointed out to me repeatedly that I was alone when I got sick.  That didn't hurt at all. I do have my mom.  My worth was based on the fact that I didn't have a husband or children.

I tell myself that my path in life has been different than others.  It doesn't mean that I made choices to be in this situation.  I would have liked to have met someone when I was younger that was a good hearted person who would have treated me well.  I would have liked to have children when I was younger but guess what?  That didn't happen, so leave me alone with the cruel comments.  Maybe there's something a better life plan and I don't know about it.  I have no expectations at this point in my life as far as meeting someone who's a decent human being.  I know I don't want any bad humans around me.  I have had enough of that.

I wouldn't tell anyone if I did meet someone that I had a "strong like" situation.  As modern as we all say we are, there's still that expectation of where is this going comment?  None of your damn business.  

Leave people alone who aren't married and has kids by the age of 30.  Leave women alone in particular. It's nobody's business.  I never asked anyone about their marriage or made disparaging comments about their kids.  Why?  It's none of my business!  Let people live their lives.  

And for crying out loud, married people, don't tell single people how to meet each other when you two met in high school.

I am sounding like an Old Maid aren't I?  Yeah.  I hate that perception of me.  Life works out for people in different ways and it's not all bad.

At least I have my mirage of the running man.  I think it's a mirage. I think he's really a figment of my imagination.