Taking a Chance

My memory isn't the greatest sometimes and I think I know why I don't have a clear memory of this one.

It was something that was the start of something good but just didn't. . . happen.

I was set to go out with someone that I liked a lot.  We had a date planned and they cancelled.  They had gotten back together with their girlfriend.  It wasn't the first time someone chose someone else, it just really sucked that I had the potential of something good really happening and had the rug pulled out from under me. 

I have taken chances when it came to love, I wonder why wasn't someone willing to take a chance with me?  

In the seventh grade, I thought this boy had a crush on me and we had these ridiculous autograph books we had our friends sign.  I thought maybe he would give me an indication if I asked him to sign my book, maybe put his phone number in it?  He wrote, Sorry, I like her and drew an arrow to someone else who signed the book.  It was this girl that played sports.  Well, I definitely didn't get mixed signals. I give Marvin credit.  He straight up and said, sorry, I prefer her.  

I don't know why it was bothering me so badly today.  I was good enough but why did I get passed over?  Why did I get my hopes up so many times?  

I really liked the idea that there was a relationship forming from the ones that seemed like they had potential.  I would find that I couldn't wipe the smile off of my face when I would see that person and think, maybe, today is that day that they'll say something that indicates that they want to spend more time with you.  

I don't get my hopes anymore and that sucks.  Getting your hopes up and being crushed is even worse.  It's happened so many times.  I think I would ask someone if they were drunk if they wanted my number.  Or have a mental disorder.

It was a nice feeling those times when you think that you have something going with someone who seems to just get you.  

Wishful thinking today. . . 



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