What Is this Feeling

 Not sure how I'm feeling today.  There's a bit of annoyance, but it's nothing I can't get over.  At least for the moment.  It's really small but it's big in my head.  I am making it bigger and I need to squash it.

New changes bring new ideas that I don't always agree but I got to live with it.  Things went fine today but once again, the comparison factor played a role in my annoyance.  It's all good, but it's a reminder that the lurker is a cheater.

I caught the lurker putting her name on a task when I knew someone finished it some time ago.  It was something that came in for me when I was out.  I changed it to the person who helped me that day.  That's! What the lurker does.  Sneaks and takes credit.  

I was asked about how things were with her.  I know there's an expectation that I should learn to trust the lurker but that will never happen.  It wasn't one incident.  It was several little incidents that piled up.  I said things were better.  They got her way, so they are happy.  I have my mental health back so I'm ok.  Am I harboring a little resentment at times?  Yeah, I am.  That wasn't ok.  I want peace in my life so I'm fine for now.  It's my hope that the lurker will find new opportunities and move on.  Stay out of my life.  

That's how it's been most of my work life.  If someone didn't want do something, it wound up with me.  I do it to keep the peace.  I'm tired of that. 

I earned my time off and I earned this Friday off.  I thought I would get ahead of the Summerfest crowd by rescheduling my hair cut to tomorrow instead of next week.  Well I messed up. I didn't realize that Summerfest staggered the dates which does sound good.  I wish the crowds weren't so bad.  Hopefully it's not bad finding a parking spot and it's early enough.

I have felt kind of up and down with my mood today.  I overslept.  I was up at 4:30 taking something for my headache and slept until 6.  Stevie Wonder was too relaxing, I guess.  

Tomorrow is a new day.  I'll have the day off and can get some things done.  Maybe I can take a walk by the lake after my hair cut.

I hope I don't get the same student.  She seemed ok but I think she just kind of made me nervous about the whole hoodie incident.  I knew she was a former military person and she reminded me of someone I did work with.  This woman would snap at me when I would try to tell her something when she would start.  She could be so nice and then when she would get angry, I did feel intimidated.  It made me think of her.  No, I don't think people in the military are scary, but this student reminded me of my old co-worker who shared that same thing.  This co-worker had been going through a rough time with her husband and there was someone who was upsetting her.  I told a higher up who went to find her.  Well that got me into trouble I guess because when she got upset again, she shook her finger at me and told me to keep my mouth shut.  Guess I had that flashback when I got chastised about the hoodie.

I wish I understood people.  


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