The Time I Threw a Fire Bomb at my Mentor

 Quite a title, isn't it?  I'm not proud when I have a moment like this.  I think I'm pretty patient and I'm more likely to have people walk over me and maybe threw out a snarky comment if I'm mad, but there are those moments when I let loose and give someone a piece of my mind.  It's happened in a Pick n Save about 20 years ago, happened in the shoe department at Boston Store like maybe 15 years ago and it happened when I sent an email to the person that I considered a mentor last summer.  

I think I have an alter ego when this happens.  I call her Nene and she's maybe been on her feet all day and tired and wants to pull someone's wig because everyone is getting on her nerves.

I had worked with this person for 7 years as his assistant and I always had fun with this person  I was ok when I officially got assigned to him.  He was the worst person when it came to dictation and people would leave his empty folders on the shelf for me.  Normally there would be a file to help that person that transcribed to have information that we could look up.  This person was so messy he didn't know where any of his files were.  He was so nice and funny about it.  So no shock when I got assigned to him eventually.  

A lot of people got a kick out of the two of us and our daily bickering.  It was a like a comedy show.  He'd say someday I'm going to retire and you'll work with someone competent. I would say I don't want to work with anyone competent, I want to work with you!  I had his back and well, he did initially.  He would take me to observe depositions and mediations and then answer my questions.  It was very cool.

It was the year that Betsy gave me so much trouble.  He was very sympathetic and Betsy was part of our team.  He was part of the reason that Betsy was angry with me.  She felt he favored me.  If anyone saw the work he gave me, nobody would say that.  His handwriting has made me able to read a doctor's handwriting after reading his scribble for years.  When I broke down in tears, convinced I was going to lose my job, he was calling people to ask for a referral if I needed it that used to work with us.

Then he started telling me that when his wife had three little kids and had to work, she was stressed.  I asked did she try to get anyone fired?  He kept putting out the she's a mom and has little kids.  Well she's a mom who's making my life hell do you get that part?  I never expected him to go to anyone and stick up for me.  This was my battle.  I didn't expect him to hate her either.  I didn't hate her either.  I was scared of her.

He normally got asked to write feedback on the work that I did for him every year for my review.  When he told me that he didn't, my heart sank.  I knew I was in trouble and it was going to be bad, but I needed a kind word.  He made out like he had better stuff to do.  I thought tell that to your next assistant when I'm at Dollar Tree.  Thanks.  Not only did he forget, the other person I worked for didn't bother either.  Betsy got asked to fill out feedback for me.  Yeah.  Lucky me.  I got asked too but I am guessing my words were kinder than her words. 

He did know that I had cancer.  I never told him what kind and he had guessed.  When I came in from a week of tests and meeting doctors, I came to his office to sit down and talk about what was going happen.  He started lecturing about how to treat this like a job.  I knew he meant well but I knocked a group of papers on the floor to let him know what I thought.  That's what we did.  He also told you need to work with me.  People are asking questions about you.  Yeah - WHAT ABOUT ME?  BOO HOO!  

He and Lois both dumped work on me like 30 minutes before I had to leave every day.   He said many dumb things to me like people don't care about an illness.  My mom still wants to punch him for that.

He was getting closer to retirement and he was really checked out for a long time and his attitude became horrible.  And it affected me with phone calls and angry emails about him.  I had printed out an email and left it on his chair when he was gone.  I happened to run into him in the hallway and he went off on me about how stressed out he was.  He was angry at the person who sent me the email about him.  I was hearing the brunt of it.

This isn't the part where I fire bombed him.  I should have but I did go off and say Check your attitude.  I thought you lectured me left and right about having a good attitude and your attitude sucks!  I said don't talk to me!  I walked away and he made jokes later, trying to get me out of the bad mood he caused.  I was ok, but I thought don't take your garbage out on me.  I parked myself in his office one day because a client was getting denied an apartment because of something he did.  He was on the phone with one of his cronies and I thought too bad.  This young woman was worried about not having a place to live and he was talking about doing lunch with someone from his old geezer club. 

When he left, I was sad.  Until I got blamed for the mess he left.  I still met up with him because others wanted me to go meet up for lunch at Costco.  Did I mention I hate Costco?  That's the type of craptastic places I wound up at.  Some people in my position would go to a nice place and I'm sitting there with my stupid hot dog.  Awesome.  

He emailed me every year on my birthday and wished me a Happy Birthday.  And then he added "Be Good."

First up, he thought I didn't know how to play the game.  I had gotten asked for money for a manager's gift and I didn't have the money for it so he gave me money.  He told me I need to learn to play the game better.  When I would say things about people acting like jerks, he would lecture me about how I need to understand people better.

It was the second year at home and when he emailed me a Happy Birthday I told him I would like it if he would stop contacting me.  I was polite about I was a lot happier not working with anyone from the office anymore and I'm good.  I would like to move on with my life.

The next year, he emailed again.  I thought Did he not get the last email?  Did it go to spam?  

It was when there was a lunch for someone who was retiring that made me lose it.  Frick had told me he asked about me and wanted to know if I was "ok".  He was asking way too many questions that didn't sit right.

It was maybe a month later and you know when you spend your days alone, you have a time to reflect about things and this wasn't reflection.  This was a long simmering pot that was boiling over and the keyboard monster came out on a Friday afternoon about what I thought about how he treated me. I had his back.  He pretty much didn't have mine and maybe threw a knife in it accidentally.  I think I told him to go sit on a Reeses peanut butter cup and sit on it after he said he missed my mom's peanut butter bars when I came back from medical leave.  Considering he found it funny that I was getting blame for the mess he left really upset me more.

I will stick up for people and I'm a loyal as you can come.  He wasn't and it was a disappointment.