Love Bombing

 I think I've had that happen.  Is that where someone just drowns you in love and affection and then just blows you off like 2 weeks later?

If it is, then yeah, raising my hand that I've had it happen a few times.  The "L" word gets thrown out and the adoring compliments that overwhelm me.  And then a month later, that person has second thoughts.  Well, I DIDN'T!  What happened?

Oh, when I look back at it I think I should have taken a step back and said this is way too fast.  Well when you're thrilled that someone wants to pay attention to you, you go with the flow.  I should have learned after the first time.  I should have learned with the last one.  Like repeatedly should have learned.  Yeah, I have been hurt, but I also know that I take accountability for not walking away when I should.

Would I want to get swept away like that again?  NO.  I know that sounds like every man's dream.  If there's an opportunity in this lifetime to experience a normal relationship I would like friendship first and this building of trust.  I want to like that person as well as have a deep love that grows. 

Yeah, that sounds very Hallmark-y.  When you spend a lot of time alone, you think a lot.  I used to think about the person that would be there for me when I went through radiation treatment. I thought about walking with that person on a nice fall day, holding hands.  He maybe was around my age, younger or older, a little taller and just kind of comfortable.  Someone not weak enough to walk away when they find out that you had a catastrophic illness even if you're fine.

No more light weights in my life.  

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