Social Media Avoidance

 I am on Facebook and Instagram but I hardly use it.  I do have a Pinterest account that I used for awhile but mostly I look but don't touch.  I look for pictures of my grand niece on Facebook when my niece posts but she's busy moming so hard and she's not a show off even though my little grand niece is totally worth it.  I message my friend Corinne through both apps with funny political memes or a short message on how things are going.  That's about it. 

I had Tik Tok during the pandemic but deleted it because some of the videos supporting Trump and it's gotten out of control.  I had SnapChat for a short period of time, but I wound up deleting it.  

I was excited for Facebook and I friended everyone I could back then when it started, even classmates I hated.  I did make the exception on the bully who called me a dirty Jew and thought I should be put in an oven.  Some kids you don't forget. 

I thought it was a chance to be social and get out more.  It screwed up one relationship for awhile because of my big 12 year old mouth posting stupid stuff years ago that I regret.  It kind of brought out the worst in a lot of us that it turned us into high school kids.

After the 2012 election, a classmate of mine had commented about Obama being a dirty Muslim.  This classmate was actually friends with one of my old managers from my very first job.  I hit the unfriend button and told my friend that I can't take Teresa's messages anymore.  I'm sorry, I don't want to cause problems for you.  Well this friend got into a shouting match with Teresa on the phone because a few people de-friend Teresa but the one that made her the most mad?  It was me.  

This same friend blocked me after I asked if she knew a good route to get home from Columbia St. Mary's. I found out I was having a biopsy and my mom was going to have to drive.  She claimed that she didn't know where that hospital was and I never heard from her again.  She heard from me though when I got my diagnosis.  I had her email.  Idiot.

My list of people ran about 200 and now it's about 32?  One person was on Project Runway.  Thanks Bert from Season, I forgot what season you were on but I like your posts. 

I saw things with people that I normally wouldn't have seen if it weren't for social media.  I didn't realize Harold was such a liar until social media. I suspected it but he got called out for lying about a business he worked for.  He said it went out of business and one of his friends called him out. I kind of knew the truth, he was drinking and his friend fired him.  He made out to be this great king of political knowledge that most of his friends bowed down to and I kind of found it to be condescending. 

I deleted a couple of friends for their excessive bragging about their families and vacations.  I like seeing vacation pictures but every 2 to 3 months is overkill. I don't need to see trips to Victoria's Secret with your teen daughters either.  

I know what has kind of set me off with my friend that has moved away.  It had been months of not hearing anything and when I would hear something, she'd never address me feeling bad or struggling.  I had sent her a message after I got hit with a $250 increase in rent.  I thought Oh my god. I need to move.  I burned my bridges with the last moving company I used 15 years ago.  I realize the person I told off may not be there anymore but I wanted a new place. 

I didn't expect to hear from her right away, but what I saw was a notification on my phone.  My sister had shown me Snap Chat months earlier and I played with the app out of boredom.  I didn't really understand how it worked, but I would get notifications from my phone contacts when someone would be on it.  I kept seeing my friend's name pop up after a 2 day period. I thought Ok, I guess I'd rather make funny faces than answer my question about moving companies.

I had posted on Facebook if anyone knew of a rental in the southwest or southeast area of Milwaukee area, I would appreciate it if they would direct message me.  Lois would be so sad I have no interest in moving to her neighborhood.  Lois probably knows the Shorewood spitter so she's safe from me moving next door.  

A couple of responded and said they would keep their eyes open.  I heard from my missing friend offering me money to move.  I responded thanks, but I got to find a place first.  I said do you know what rentals are like right now?  Milwaukee has a bed bug problem so I can't just move in anywhere. I got to find a place first but hang onto the money. I may need a loan floated.  I would have paid her back.

She admitted she felt like a crummy friend for offering money and said that she felt guilty for having the money.  I didn't quite get it.  I thought well I wish she would have talked to me more this summer but I get that her life has moved on and my life is a 4 alarm fire.

Maybe she felt guilty she was on SnapChat when she knew I was thrown into a bad situation.  I don't know.  I try not to feel annoyed when I get messages.  I try to refrain from my 4 alarm fire life but when I hear that her daughter is going to live in one state and work in another because that state doesn't support women's rights, I want to scream.  I'll live in any safe and secure location.  Seeing what she's doing with those notifications told me a lot during that 2 day period.  

Social media has become a playground for grand life and showing off.  That's hard when things aren't so great for people.  I never really said much about going through cancer treatment because it's private.  

I'm just becoming more private.  Social media is great when your family lives in a different state and you can connect when you can't travel.  Other than that, social media has become a big dumpster fire.  And that's not saying much from someone who has a dumpster fire life.