The Invisible Woman Chronicles

 Today is shot day.  And seeing the Oncology nurse who will give me the ok to get an MRI or authorization.  Or whatever protocol that needs to be done. I dread the weigh in because I have struggled the last year and it seems to be worse.  It might explain my blood pressure from the last time I got weighed in.  Frustrating. The blame can always be on me.  I can point fingers but it's how I cope at the end of the day. Last week I called WE Energies about my energy bill.  Our downstairs neighbor has been using the appliances a lot the last few months.  I will probably have a settlement balance of about $300 plus. I tried to pay extra on that bill throughout the year which has helped.  The kicker from the conversation is that because of the excessive use?  They will re-evaluate my budget plan and we figured it would go from $186 to about $236.  Why?  Because of some pot head drugged out jerk who doesn't have a job who's been using ...

 I can't stand platitudes.  Or advice books.  Or people who quote Oprah. Back in college, a friend of mine told me if you don't love yourself, nobody else will.  He was drunk.  I was drunk and crying about an ex that broke my heart.  He didn't know what he was talking about and I told him that.   He was as bad as I was and he's happily married.  Idiot. Someone told me that over a mistake I made at work.  First up, I take accountability with my work and I get frustrated when it's something that's so obvious and I missed it.  It is a new world in pandemic land for all of us, working remote.  I realize things can get lost in translation with the written word and with most of us messaging or emailing but it made me laugh. I understood I shouldn't be hard on myself on mistakes.  I don't like to make extra work for someone else and that makes me feel bad.  I have heard that phrase if you don't love yourself, nobody else wil...

 I feel like the CDC just waved the white flag. I get that we can't hide in our houses forever, but their new guidelines don't seem right. I don't go in big groups and well I don't go anywhere period.   I have found myself walking into Pick n Save for a few items and not putting a mask on.  I have put the mask on and taken it off and feel like the fool for wearing one.  It's a weird peer pressure.  Yet I know it's a good idea for someone that's high risk or lives with someone high risk. Today, I went into Wal mart with the intention of putting a mask on and I didn't have one in my purse.  Oh wow, did I feel like I was walking in a cesspool of germs with people.  It seemed like the short time I was in there people got too close or just seemed too close for me. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I know everyone jokes about Wal Mart but a couple of clerks wore masks.  It just seemed like the people there?  Never wore one.  Never ...

 August seems like such a hot and gross month.  I kind of like August. I think we have more ugly weather in July but even if it does 100, it's ok.  It's like the ending of summer is starting to turn.  Things start to change, you see things going up for the fall, or Halloween candy in the stores.  No, I didn't buy 10 bags of it and eat them all.  Tempting, but no.  Just kind of nice to see a change in some things. We do see the temperatures start to dip and tease us.  This weekend was ok to wear a sweatshirt until I walked back up the hill and was reminded that it's still humid.  Yep.  August can be gross. I can live with that. My mom and I did a news detox on Thursday.  She was overwhelmed by Tim Michels winning the primary.  We get money each month thanks to her EBT card.  I was paying for groceries and I still can if that extra money goes away.  It's given my mom a sense of pride to be able to buy more groceries....

 I hate it when I delete a post.  I know why I did it.  I went to emotional overdrive on that day upset with the world, upset with my situation and I took it out on a blog post. At least my readership has still stayed at 4 views.  That's a relief. It was a week in progress with politics.  I told someone taking a survey months ago people need to lay off Joe Biden because he's not a magician.    I think writing my letters and postcards have been stressing me out.  I feel compelled to help and yet I'm stressed about things in my own life.  I had signed up with another group to write postcards.  I didn't commit to much, but I'm thinking once I finish with them, I have 70 more letters for Vote Forward and 25 more postcards to write for Postcards to Swing States.  I won't stop but maybe for a week.  I feel great like I'm doing something helpful when I write these letters.  It's a lot, thinking about a lot of what's going on....