New Week

 Watched 3 episodes of The Old Man this weekend.  I love Jeff Bridges.  It's a good story.  Good actors, John Lithgow, Amy Brenemann.  And two cute dobermans.  I love the fact his character has two dobermans.  My heart broke when I heard Jeff Bridges almost died having covid while he was getting chemo.  When I was a teenager, my sister and her boyfriend took me to see No Way Out with him and James Woods. I thought how could Rachel Ward be with James Woods?  Still wonder that.  James Woods is a creep.  Jeff Bridges is a good actor and he was super dreamy in that movie years ago.  Still a good looking old guy.   

I only walked my hill today.  Yesterday I stayed in.  My mom's hip hurt and it worried me.  She slept it off, she said it was a spasm but for some reason, I just wanted to be around my mom.  Even if she was arguing with the cat while I tried to go to sleep last night.  At least it's a sign that she's ok.  I worry about her.  I think I'm doing myself more harm with my anxiety.  

I don't look forward to tomorrow.  I didn't break down to one of my higher ups, but I did get tearful about how things had been going for me.  Feeling like a failure.  I know I'm not.  It's just a lot that has been given to me and sometimes people aren't always patient.  There's someone in my group who has been nicer to me but I felt like they were belittling me at times.  It was good that my role changed at work.  I got away from people who were really not nice to me.  It's been a lonely journey at times getting to know new people and understanding how they work.  I am worried about someone sending me an angry email about a project I have been working on for months.  I really liked the challenge of working with this person, but now I feel beat down.  The person I confided in felt bad I was struggling.  There will be help coming in the future. I have to remind myself that it may not be tomorrow but soon that things will change.  

Good things to think about.  Lizzo dropped new music.  She needs to quit swearing so much and put some clothes on.  I'm not opposed to swearing but she can make great music, especially play the flute.  I get paid this Friday.  Hopefully I don't have to make a return visit to the dentist after I get my cleaning Friday morning.  Nice to see him, but ok if it's not for another 6 months. 

And I don't want any bad emails to start my Monday off.  I wish there was a way I can make that happen . . . 

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