The Invisible Woman Chronicles

 How many ways can your heart feel broken? I struggled to get through the week.  I found out the one true friend I have is going to move and live a very happy life somewhere else.  I'm struggling with learning some new job responsibilities and I feel like there's someone determined to make me feel inferior.  There's always someone in every group I guess.   And then there's Uvalde.  I don't always flip the news on while I work, but I did late in the afternoon. It's nothing new.  Another day, another location.  Children.  10 year old children.  I can't get that out of my head.   Don Lemon had a woman on that lived in the neighborhood and talked about how she had just moved to the community and people were so nice.  There was a melancholy when she talked.  I just wanted to give her a hug. Then there were mistakes made.  How can we do that to kids?  How can police stand in the hallway and not do anything? I...

I ordered like a lot of postcards from an organization called Postcards to Swing States for the November election. I'm cringing at the number I put down. I'll be having a busy summer.  And spending time at the post office. I am also writing letters to people in Florida for Vote Riders.  It's an educational letter about what type of ID you need in order to vote.  I committed myself to write 100 letters and I've done about 60.  I have about 10 for the state of Georgia.  And finally, there's my year long writing campaign for Vote Forward where I've adopted many voters in various states for the mid term elections.  I can't even say how many.  I'm kind of embarrassed. Why?  I feel like I have a disorder that's making me want to write all these letters. I was a volunteer for the John Kerry people in 2004 and for the League of Conservation.  I wanted to make a difference and I wanted George W. Bush out of office badly.  Amazing how he doesn't s...

 Almost every weekend I drive my leased car that I've had for 2 years that just passed 7000 miles over to the east side and park.  I get out and go for a walk.  I came across the neighborhood with so many doctor appointments in 2019, that I started coming to this neighborhood in particular and walk around the neighborhoods and the big hill that leads me to Lake Michigan while I listen to a podcast or Audible. I will walk in my neighborhood during lunch and used to walk as far as the Target in my area some weekends.  With the pandemic, I was uncertain about it being safe and when I did walk with a mask, I could hear someone yelling at me.  I pointed at my ear buds that to be polite but that didn't stop them from telling me their opinion.  If I'm not bothering you, why are you bothering me?  My mom told someone to mind their own business when it happened to her.  She felt bad that the person apologized.  There were so many unknowns at that time...

 There is a friend I have who floats in my life and out like a butterfly.  I don't know if I would define this person was a friend.  Every time I get comfortable with this friend, they wind up floating away. I met him when he did my nails.  I would occasionally go in the winter and a little bit more in the summer. I love a pedicure.  I really enjoyed this friend's company.  He's just so easy to talk and very warm.  I just loved him and felt bad when we moved away.  We kept in touch through social media off and on.   I was delighted when he moved back.  He was working at a store near my house and still doing nails on the weekends.  He had mentioned it to me and well I felt a little disloyal about leaving the family neighborhood place I went to once a month.  They are kind people who treated me like family.  I thought this friend was family as well. I had a really horrible year with medical and faced another surgery....

 Mother's Day kind of snuck up on me this year.  My mom's birthday is close so I was focused on getting on that day and almost forgot Mother's Day was this Sunday.  I have to turn off social media on Mother's Day. I should do it more on any given day to be honest because let's face it, social media makes most of us feel bad. I wasn't fixated on motherhood like a lot of young girls I knew growing up. I wanted to be a journalist like Murphy Brown when I was in college and travel the world.   I didn't do that, but still, I thought it was kind of important to do things before family came into the picture. Motherhood was never out of my picture. I just thought it shouldn't be rushed.  Sad part is that you're given a window of time before it gets complicated. I did have a baby growing up with me when I was in college.  I had a crib in my room.  My mom baby sat for my niece while my mom worked.  I went to school two days a week basically 8 to 12 hou...

 I hit a milestone on Saturday.  I'm 7 years cancer free, so to speak. My lumpectomy was on May 7, 2015.  I wound up with 6 plus weeks of radiation. There's other good stuff that makes you want to scream but that was the start of my medical fun. Did I have a feeling something was wrong?  Maybe a tiny bit.  Something felt off with me.  I was falling asleep way too easy.  I didn't feel anything.  I fall into the category of dense tissue.   I went through the usual protocol of a call back and ultrasound. I saw the woman who did my second mammogram at the grocery store.  She saw me and a lot of panic crossed her face.  She hurried out of the aisle she saw me. It wasn't until she scurried away, I remembered who she was.  My heart sank. I still hoped that maybe it wouldn't be it. It was.  When the radiologist told me I burst into tears and said I can't afford it.  I can't do this.  I thought I've struggled all of ...