The one that wanted to marry me and made me hate Valentines Day

 I met my college boyfriend while working at Target.  A lot of us that worked there went to school at UW-Milwaukee.  I didn't really pay much attention to him.  I worked as a cashier and he worked in housewares.  I think it was one evening I was looking for something after I punched out that he started talking to me and we talked for awhile. I thought he's nice.  I don't think either of us sought the other out.  We just kind of looked at each other like, hunh, you're interesting.  I didn't pay much thought to him after the first conversation until I walked out one night and I could see his reflection in the door watching me. I wondered if I needed to find my way back to housewares again. I did and he asked me out.

And it was nice.  The relationship started off normal and like wow, I had a boyfriend.  He was a year older than me and ahead of me in college.  He was studying economics and math.  I was struggling to get myself grounded in college.  I had a horrible second semester, but I badly wanted to redeem myself in the next year.  

I was looking forward to summer and doing stuff that couples did.  Go to Summerfest, see movies, go to Lake Michigan, go out to eat. I thought no more lonely girl summers.  Oh, that would not last.

It happened when we went to Great America with another couple.  The only problem is that our friend's boyfriend cancelled so it was the three of us.  Three's a crowd and I was the outsider.  She worked with us at Target and she had tried to set me up months before we started dating.  I liked her.  I was not happy to see my boyfriend hugging her for a long time when she sobbed about going on the roller coaster.  And how long it took for him to drop me off.

I didn't think much about it, especially when he went for a drive with me and parked in a park near my house to break up with me.  I was devastated.  I found out from my friend's boyfriend that they were now broken up and she was with my boyfriend.

Before there was Scandaval, there was Target-gate.  I couldn't believe it.  I wouldn't talk to either of them and what little I did it was muttering.  My friend was absolutely arrogant about dating my boyfriend in front of everyone and people were mad and called my now ex out for his behavior.  Nice to know some people had my back.

Before we broke up, we had plans to go see Heart at Summerfest.  My now ex wanted me to go with him and his now girlfriend.  His brother would be along so I could hang with him.  No way in hell was I going to that and I told him that.

And they had a horrible time at the concert and I couldn't have been happier the next day.  His brother brought a friend that he had hated and my now ex was so angry that he complained about it in the break room.  I laughed at him.  He was surprised. I said what do you expect from me?  He told me that he had fought with my now ex friend as well and I shrugged.  I thought that's called karma.  I knew from her ex-boyfriend that they were fighting and I also knew that my friend was still having sex with her ex. I knew this wasn't going to last.

During the summer, the cashiers were training some of the floor people like my now ex to help us out when we were backed up with customers.  He was trained by another friend that he struck up a friendship with and she fell in love with him.  How did I know?  She told me and I called him and asked him to quit hitting on all my friends, please.  He wasn't in love with this friend and we talked for awhile.  He apologized for what had happened and he said things weren't going well with his relationship.

He did break up with my friend and we did wind up back together by the end of summer.  I thought he was remorseful and things would be better and they were for awhile.

We had issues.  He was more intense and bent on becoming number 1 all the time, even when we played tennis.  That was one of the reasons he broke up with me. I didn't take tennis seriously.  Oh my god. I was good at tennis in high school when we took it for gym class but I wasn't a pro.  I played it to have fun and he wasn't a fan of my jumping over the tennis net when we finished and doing air guitar.  It was funny when Tom Hanks did it, how come it wasn't funny when I did it?  He was a prick about my education.  I had to take college algebra in order for me to graduate .  I flunked it the first time and I deserved it.  I had zero attention and zero interest that semester.  That semester I worked so hard and I couldn't get it.  I just couldn't get it.  I talked to him on the phone one day about well at least I made it to the 60's with the last test score.  I thought I would have gotten sympathy.  I got a lecture.  He said maybe I shouldn't be in college.  I was shocked.  I expected that from my dad, not him.  My dad actually tried to help me study for these tests.  I did wind up taking a test that I aced but I had a horrible time taking both semesters of this god awful course.  He liked to make me feel inferior and told my mom that I wasn't cut out for college.

At Christmas, he gifted me a CD player.  I was floored.  I had given him gifts but this was super expensive and it seemed like people at work, namely the guys turned on me for what he gave me that year.  He had told my mom his plans for the future.  He was going to be a professor and I would stay at home with the kids and work on my writing career.  It was my dream to be a writer and he was trying to make that come true.

Well the dream didn't last.  

I took a job at Sears to help me better manage college.  We would stay late at Target and that didn't help me with studying.  I thought my boyfriend would have missed me more.  Nope.  That didn't happen.  We did have plans to have a nice Valentines Day after having a great Christmas.

We even shopped for a nice dress together.  He had the place picked out and I was just excited. I never did anything like this before.  Getting ignored and eating candy was how I spent Valentines.

I got sick a week before the big date night.  I hesitate seeing doctors.  I'll go but I'm not quick to rush.  I was this time and I got a prescription to help me with my respiratory infection. I was a lot better when the day came around but not happy where we wound up.

We went to Pizza Hut.  No hate on Pizza Hut and I never asked about the other place.  He was in a mood because he had a year left and wanted to go grad school and was worried about money. I spent the evening listening to him.  It sucked.  At least I was medicated and the pizza was good.

I don't know what hit me a couple of weeks later, he had told me that there was a big CD sale at Target and he asked me if I wanted anything with his discount. I told him I'd like the new George Michael CD.  I would have paid him. I was excited to get the CD. I loved Wham.

I never got the CD.  We went to a movie and I asked him about it.  He didn't buy it because people would have thought he was gay.  Yeah.  He said that.  So many things ran through my mind.  Between the Pizza Hut for Valentines and this, I was tired and had enough.  I said if you don't want to go out with me anymore, just say it.  I just don't feel like your mind is somewhere else and I'm tired.  I asked why didn't you say you were buying something for your girlfriend.  He had no answers.  He apologized and seemed remorseful.  I forgave him again.  

I saw less of him and everything became about his future and how he had to save money for grad school.  I was going to buy him something for Christmas and when I called his mom to ask questions, she called me a few days later and told me not to buy anything for him.  She seemed almost angry at me and I thought wow, I thought we had a good relationship.  He came over an hour later with a Christmas gift for me and I gave him the dress pants I bought for him.  They were expensive pants but I thought they were nice and looked nice on him.  He bought me a video game.  Why?

I thought we were still together and I didn't hear from him for a few weeks so I asked him to bring some VHS tapes I loaned him. I wanted them back and I wanted answers.  He didn't want to see me anymore.  He thought I would get mad and tell him off.  I was tearful and hurt.  Here we go again.  His mom had called me because she knew he was dumping me and I used my hard earned money on him only to get hurt.  His family had more money than mine but he had me paying for a lot the last year with the excuse of he's going to grad school.  And he kept bringing up that CD player he gave me that seemed to be hung over my head.

I found out he already had a girlfriend from Target.  He wasn't really someone that women paid attention to but it seemed like once we went out, women started talking to him more.  I almost felt like I was encouraged to take another job at a different store so he could flirt more with women. He wound up with a rich girl with money.  

I had an opportunity to cheat when I moved onto another department store while we were together.  He had a girlfriend and he liked me.  He thought my boyfriend was a jerk and thought we should be together. It never crossed my mind.  Cheating is cheating.  If I had issues, I should have worked them out.  Going out with someone else wasn't going to solve anything.  Besides, his girlfriend looked like she could have kicked my ass at the time.  I didn't even want him talking to him when she was working.  Scary bitch.

He had told me that I was the girl you hung out with and had fun.  That's funny since he talked marriage at one point.  I know he's now been married twice and divorced twice.  He had gotten angry with me when I marveled at my niece being born and said all I wanted was a baby.  No, I didn't.  I was 21 years old and that's the last thing I needed.  It grew a little tiresome to hear men say all women wanted was babies.  No.  I wanted stability, happiness.  I wanted a family of my own so I hope he's happy he helped me not get it.  Especially since he would have left me for one of his grad students.

I don't hate Valentines Day but I understand that every day is just as important.  I would have liked to have been treated nicely every day. I would and would still be very happy if someone checked in on me and saw how I was doing.  Valentines Day is a show off day for idiot couples.  

And yeah, I sold that damn dress at a rummage sale.