The Invisible Woman Chronicles

 The last time I told someone that I took something for anxiety, I was kind of taken aback by the reaction and the alarmed look I got from that person.  I thought is there something wrong with me?  Obviously yes I have to take something for anxiety.  I felt like this person thought that I was so pathetic, it's kind of made me feel so bad the last month.  Like I should be put in a home for the anxiety ridden.  That's what anxiety does.  You feel like great, one more person thinks you're defective.  That's not fair.  It really crushed when I got that reaction. I went to my car and cried on the way home.  I felt like it was something to be ashamed of. I was always a nervous kid and worried. I was born worried. I stayed up late and worried when I had tests.  I just thought it was the end of the world when I had a presentation.  My brain was just wired that way and I thought it was normal. I was treated for depression first about 20...

 Yeah, what a title.  True story. I live about 6 blocks from the grocery store and I normally walk to use Shopkick on my phone. I got a couple of cans of Sparkling Ice.  As I crossed the street at 70th and National Avenue, a car came towards me. I had the right of way.  They apparently didn't want to stop.  And they almost missed me.  I was so angry I flung my bag towards the car screaming obscenities.  Not a proud moment, but for the situation, it was justified.  I saw that the car stopped and I screamed JUST F-ING GO!  They were probably upset that I might have touched their car with my grocery bag.   I am tired of the traffic in this area.  I won't cross at that intersection again.  I can't take the lack of people not paying attention.  I will find side streets where there is less traffic. I used to walk in the neighborhood a lot more on the weekends but when Covid hit, it seemed like people in this area didn't tak...

 You would think it would be a nice day to have a day off. It wasn't. This weekend was horrible with the horrible with the blizzard.  Because the monster downstairs is unpredictable I knew I had to shovel by the garage.  We needed food and I didn't know if a delivery service would deliver since he wasn't shoveling. I felt so weak and so depressed shoveling by the garage.  I had gone out for a half hour and thought, if I pace myself, I can get it cleaned up.  I know I'm at a horribly unhealthy weight.  This was not good cardio exercise.  This was an opportunity for a heart attack. I was ready to give up the second time after about 45 minutes and my neighbor across the alley helped me clean it up.  I wanted to cry. I wasn't used to help and I was so grateful.  When I said this was more than enough for us to go out and get groceries, I was about to go in and I realized the garage door wouldn't stay closed.  It popped back open.  I text...

 I did not have a magical first kiss as a teenager. I was 17 and I was shy.  I did not have any invites to dances or parties.  In a way I was ok with it, because I was horrified the way boys talked about girls during our lunches at school.  I'd rather be the shy girl than the one that got a finger stuck somewhere.  I won't even say where.  It made me want to lose my lunch when I heard it. My first kiss was with someone who didn't go to school with me and that was probably a good thing.  He was a friend of a friend that dated him for a few months.  We went to his house one night and met with him.  He seemed funny and charming.  He was a year younger.  I didn't get to know him better until my friend had a party and he seemed to gravitate towards me.  I was a little surprised but I liked him.  He kind of reminded me of a little bit of a Jack Black back then.  Not the best looking but had a way about him. It was maybe a m...

 Last spring, I took my cat to the vet because she had lost 3 pounds in the last year and a half and that's a lot for a cat.  I panicked.  I also made a mistake in who I went to for treatment. I wasn't real happy with my vet and I feel embarrassed to admit why.  It was a tech that just threw my carrier on the floor with my cat in it like Here's your luggage.  One person was no reason for me to switch.  I also thought they made a mistake when they did blood work and found nothing after I had mentioned that she uses her litter box more than usual.  I should have trusted the vet.  I shouldn't have gotten mad over one person with a bad attitude. I should have said something at the time.  I made a big mistake by changing.   I found the vet by looking at reviews online. I saw reasonable price.  I saw good care for their pets. I thought maybe I can email them and they would respond.  They responded quickly and got us in within a ...