When you don't pay attention

You find out the internet is flooding your Threads comment with hateful racist messages because you posted that you hoped Texas voted for Jasmine Crockett.  I don't really pay much attention to followers or comments and honestly that app has kind of cheered me up lately. I look at Andy Cohen's replies and it makes me laugh.  I have posted stuff like that before.  I really try to glance at these apps and don't post much, but holy hell at the racists came for me today.  I did a screen shot and posted the comments of hate that people had put out for me to warn others and of course blocked them.  How am I racist because I showed enthusiasm for a Senate candidate?  I'd like to know the reasoning.

I really got a kick out of her and Jared Moskowitz a few years back because they both seemed so whip smart with the wise cracks.  In all the doom and gloom, Jasmine's comments always cheered me up.  It was like someone who can finally break it down and call you all idiots.  I got people telling me I should get out of Texas if I don't like it.  No problem. I don't live there.

I have no life.  I live with my mom and I have no social life but I went outside today.  I tried to get some walking in today. I listened to the news on Sirius XM and part of my book. I started listening to Alexei Navalny's audible book.  It wasn't much but at least it wasn't arguing with people on the internet.  Touch grass people.  Go touch grass. Go outdoors.  Just wow.  I got called the "C" word again.  

I am excited for the primary for another state.  I am a political dork.  I showed my enthusiasm for the one in Tennessee and nobody went nuts.  Oh, yeah.  I showed it for a white lady back then.  Ahh, I get the point.  

My mom is on the phone with my cousin and she is rehashing ancient history.  Again.  I love my mom.  It pains me that she lets that affect her so badly.  This afternoon it was about my step-dad.  It pains me to hear it.  Part of me doesn't want to hear it and I want to move on.  I know it's hard for her not to dwell on it and I just don't want to dwell on it.  

I had a lot of bad things happen in my life and I know I rehashed things repeatedly on her.  People have walked all over.  I have been used and abused.  I had nobody to talk to about it until I started this blog.  Yeah.  I've done therapy and I kind of felt better when I got done with it.  I did one for four weeks after I finished cancer treatment and honestly the woman acted annoyed with me and said I was fine.  Ok.

When my school thought that I belonged in the special ed group, a doctor that examined said I was a shy little girl who just needed a lot of love.  He was actually a neurologist because they thought there was something wrong with me neurologically.  

Just a shy little girl who needed love.  That's me.  

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