The Life of Me

My appointment went ok.  It was mentioned to me that those that had gone off the cancer medication I had and lost weight.  Here I am with another year of gaining.  It wasn't presented negatively but a test was ordered for more bloodwork.  I don't think it's anything.  I think I'm just in an uphill battle to lose weight.  I feel so ashamed about this. I couldn't stop crying on the drive home.

I did the bloodwork after my appointment and I took the stairs.  I just walked through the parking garage, tearful and frustrated about everything.  Life isn't just hard.  It just keeps getting super hard.

Nobody has any idea of how bad I feel to even be out in public.  I feel like a failure.  And yay, I can go do this again when I see my other doctor.  

I just feel like nothing works when it comes to me.  

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