For Those Who are Behind the Scenes

 This morning, my mom is in a panic because her social security check hasn't been deposited.  It should have shown up yesterday and I think it will today.  Our rent is due today.  So today, she will be lamenting about it while I work.  I told her I will move some money around until we get it sorted out if it doesn't show up this afternoon or by 5.  

This is the type of stuff that's part of my daily worries.  When I would go into the office, I would hear about someone feeling depressed because they turned 40 and want to buy a convertible.  Go away!

To those who have assistants in their lives, here are a few tips on how to maintain a good working relationship ~

Think twice before you unload on your problems.  If you talk about your daughter being mad because she couldn't have filet mignon last night to your assistant, your assistant may think you're an asshole.  Why?  Because they don't know what filet mignon is and they treated themselves to a fish sandwich from McDonald's last night.  McDonald's is gross, but you see what I'm saying.  Lois and the mentor were the prime examples of this with their complaining about their kids wanting to go to a French restaurant and spend $400.  Wow on the $400.

Gift cards and other presents.  If you have no idea what to get your assistant, go with Amazon.  They might say "meh" but there's always something that you can find.  It's a safe choice when in doubt but really think twice when you think about what they would like.  Chances are, you're wrong.  I got gift cards for restaurants that sorry, either got given away or sold on eBay. I only did the eBay thing to Lois because she pissed me off.  It would always be, "you can take your mom to a restaurant."  My mom won't go out to eat and I'm not going to go out to eat.  Chances are, I would never go to the place that they recommended.  I got Starbucks cards for years and I thought, when has anyone seen me with a cup of coffee?  I finally found that they have other drinks there but still when have I ever been known as a coffee drinker?  

Barry used to get me gift cards from Target which I was perfectly happy with until he decided to switch it up and give me a card to a place he liked.  It wasn't a bad store. I just didn't know where to find it and when I did, I thought how can I find something in the $25 range?  I got a nice clock that I had to pay for part of it, but I thought I could have found plenty at Target.  

Do not buy your assistant clothes.  That's just awkward.  Melvin bought me an old lady Hawaiian shirt.  Not the floral tacky kind.  Just an ugly shirt.  I made a thrift store very happy along with the bandana that the mentor gave me because he went to Florida one year.  

If you're not well organized and are last minute, don't always dump it on your assistant.  They might have someone else they're working with as well who does the same thing.  Be better about the last minute stuff.  The mentor and Lois were both last minute.  Lois actually spoke up about me in a class about how I was put out about her last minute stuff.  She wanted to understand why.  The issue was I had all day and now I have to cram 3 hours of work into 20 minutes to get out the mail.  I swear every day of treatment, they would both bring stuff to me at 1:45 knowing I had to leave at 2:15 and have me get things out the door.  It just makes for a pretty unhappy assistant.  They feel like the dumping ground.

That brings me to my next point.  If you have a bad day?  Your assistant or any assistant is not your punching bag for your hostile feelings.  Trevor told me that it was ok that one attorney did that to me so he wouldn't take it out on his family.  It's ok to ruin my day?  No, it's not.  I've had my days ruined plenty of times, thanks to someone being unhappy with their spouse or their life in general.  If I did that, well I would be working at Dollar Tree.  

Don't brag about vacations.  It's ok to talk to your assistant about them, but keep in mind, they may not be going anywhere when they take a week off.  They might be taking stuff to Goodwill or going to get their nails done.  They may just be taking a week off from people dumping on them. 

Pay attention to small details with your assistant.  Is there someplace you hear them talking about?  Is there a place they like to shop?  That's how you get a good gift.  Sosie knew I went to Whole Foods after a lot of my medical appointments. I didn't shop like I do at other grocery stores. I maybe got a couple of items and shortly before the holidays, she was working from home and sent me an e-gift card for Whole Foods.  It was sent with a note to quit shoplifting at Whole Foods.  I don't do criminal law.  I joked that I was leaving for the day to go shoplift cookies so I appreciated the humor.

Have your assistant's back because chances are, they have your back.  Barry is a great example.  When we moved to a new building, he told me that another attorney was coming into see him and could he let him in?  I did and my manager at the time saw that and yelled at me.  I guess he needed a visitor's pass but I didn't know that at the time since we moved in.  She hunted me down in the hallway and made a point of yelling at me in front of others.  I told Barry about it and he went to her and said he was the one that should have been yelled at, not me.  I had his back when it mattered too.

Assistants do their job because they like being helpers and they may not want to be the star seekers that others may want to be.  Example - the diva.  It can always be a lonely job of feeling degraded and dehumanized.

If I said I worried about my mom's social security check not being deposited I would probably have to hear about someone's Caribbean vacation being cancelled.

Yeah.  You know I'm talking about Lois.  Perfect example of what not to do.