Feeling like an April Fool

 I won't be skipping any tests.

Our bathroom situation seems to be ok.  My mom had wanted to call the landlord and asked if he would replace the parts he said were old.  We can flush ok we just have to hold down the handle.  I thought maybe I should push out my test for 6 months or even a year but quite honestly, I want this over with and don't want to think about it again for ideally 10 years but with my luck, it'll be 5 maybe even 3 years.  

I knew the lecture I would get for postponing.  You've had cancer, you shouldn't put things off.  No, I'm not but I'm afraid if I asked my landlord to replace new parts then that's another rent raise in my future.  That's what it's come to.  It's been expensive to be me and I have really gone downhill financially.  NO and NO will be the answer I give when it comes to an MRI in July.  I have the letter from my mammogram that states that my tissue is not dense.  Why do I need to run up more bills?  Quite honestly, my quality of life has sucked beyond all means running to test after test.  I'll take my chances with some things.  I've been overwhelmed with people throwing fear at me all the time when it comes to medical that I want to scream.  I feel like saying I have a good life insurance policy.  My mom will be fine.  I have no quality of life at the moment.  It's fear, stress and massive anxiety.  No more tests just to be on the safe side.

I went to the car dealer for an oil change and I had a creepy feeling about my service advisor.  I think she was the one that tried to sell me some service plan last summer and I told her no, I can't afford it.  She asked me if I was still thinking about it and I said yes.  Well the battery in my car failed the inspection and she said that they recommend getting it fixed.  I had it fixed yesterday.  She seemed gleeful that I was spending another $300.  Yeah, I'm thrilled too.

I saw my neighbor and his girlfriend come back wearing Milwaukee Brewer baseball gear.  Must be nice to steal money from people and go to ball games.  He makes me mad.

My sister and brother in-law will be here in a few days.  Maybe that's the break we need.  Just feel overwhelmed. 

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