So Little of Me

Sometimes the micro aggressions I dealt with were in the house so to speak. I don't mean to speak cryptically but I will probably take this post down at some point.  I had to get it out.

A comment was made to me regarding a friend who had heart issues and it was in reference to my age.  It was a comment that made me say what are you implying?  I didn't ask.  I have heard it before.  

I have been gifted "fat" pants over the last few years with a comment does that offend you?  I don't think much about it other than I probably won't wear them.

I kind of suspect it was implied that I'm a good candidate for heart trouble because I'm fat.  Sigh.  

I know my health and I'm sick of people thinking I don't take it seriously because of a number on the scale.  That's the type of comment that will prompt me to over eat. I didn't last night.  I thought I'm not going to ask for more clarification.  I think I know where it would go to and it would make me cry.

I know me.  I drink my water, I eat my fruits and I need to embrace more vegetables but I think I do better than most.  I eat my protein and try to stay away from fast food places.  Since it's staying later longer, I've been out every night after work to walk to the store just to either Shopkick or maybe buy a scratch off ticket for amusement.

I got my sad little Pilates kit and my stepper.  I have my exercise TV.  I don't like the number on the scale and I'm working hard to get it down.

I follow up.  I've went through so many appointments.

No wonder I felt sensitive last week when I heard the word "heavy" that I made the assumption.

When you have lived with these comments over the years, your mind always goes to the worst place possible.

Sigh. 

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