Too Peopley

I sat in a zoom meeting when my sound was out and I noticed one of the other assistants had a T-shirt on that said It's Too Peopley outside. I wanted to ask her where she got it.  Ironically I guessed correctly to one of her responses to the questionnaire we got that asked what do you hope to do someday and she answered retire.  I go off vibes at times and that one worked.  I understood how she felt because yeah.  I feel like that.

I don't dislike people.  Crowds make me anxious.  I like hitting the stores first thing in the morning because I got room.  I got space.  I can look at stuff without people hitting me with their damn carts.  Anytime I've gone later in the day on a weekend to go do my walk, I wonder where did all these people come from?  There's something peaceful when it's not that many people around. I like seeing people walking their dogs and saying hello.  When it's later in the day, it doesn't seem so enjoyable.

I'm lousy at parties. I don't know what to say.  One of my co-workers had a candle party at her home and I spent most of my time hanging out with her cat who she said didn't really like people.  Yeah.  We understand each other.  When my sister lived here and she invited my brother in-law's family for birthday parties, I would sit on her stairs with her dogs and pet them.  

Best time I had with people was when it was a smaller group hanging out.  I spent most of my college days with my friends Josh and Ethan hanging out in the basement and talking trash to each other or studying, believe it or not. 

I think Oh, I wish I could go to Summerfest and see this musical act or that person.  Then I see the swarm of people and think no thank you.  I went back in 2000 and that might have been my last time.  We were leaving a concert and someone snagged their watch in my niece's hair and made her cry.  I wanted to go home. I had it with the idiots there. 

Anytime we had a lunch at work, where we all had to sit with everyone and bond, I just despised it.  Sometimes it was ok and I had someone to talk to and sometimes I just wanted to go back to my desk and work.  I got called anti-social more than once.  No, I just don't prefer forced socialization. 

I guess that makes it hard to meet people when you're like me. I thought maybe when I went to book readings years ago that maybe I could make a friend.  That never happened.  Depending on the author, I sometimes encountered women's reading groups who seemed more cliquey and kind of rude.  I went to one where I was so excited to see the author who was super nice to everyone getting their book signed and when it came to me, I felt a little shy and she seemed cold.  I won't say her name but Cameron Diaz and Toni Collette were in a movie based on one of her books.  That incident made me think this might not be my crowd.  

I met Ethan and Josh waiting for our bus to go to college.  You can meet people in the most unexpected places.  Neither of them were big people crowds either.  Maybe I'll find a random Shopkicker to hang out with at CVS.  Who knows?  

I don't mind people.  Just not in a crowd.